Red Herring in a Blowfish Bowl
by Skye Maxwell
Summary: Sikowitz pairs Jade and Tori up for an alphabetical improv scene.


A/N: This takes place sometime after season one and makes reference to the final scene of the first Victorious episode, "Pilot."

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 **Red Herring in a Blowfish Bowl**

Jade stood on the stage in Sikowitz' classroom, crossing her arms and hoping that Sikowitz could tell how annoyed she was. Tori was also on the stage, having been paired up with Jade for an improv scene.

Stroking his beard, Sikowitz decided, "Let's do an old favorite of mine…"

Tori, who also seemed displeased with their teacher, groaned. "Please not alphabetical im-"

"Alphabetical improv!" Sikowitz declared gleefully.

"Oh chiz," Tori said nervously.

"I trust that you girls remember how alphabetical improv works?" Sikowitz asked.

"How could we forget?" Jade asked sourly, remembering the incident from the last time she and Tori did alphabetical improv together. Sikowitz was either oblivious to the old wounds he was bringing up, or worse, he was very much aware of them.

"Excellent! Now, let's see," Sikowitz said, circling around the seated students like a hawk. "Cat!" he exclaimed from behind her.

Cat jumped, nearly tumbling out of her seat. "What?!" she yelled defensively.

"Choose a letter for Tori to start the scene with!"

Cat's disposition quickly changed, and she giggled lightly. "A!"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Cat, you don't have to pick A just because it's the first letter of the alphabet."

Cat looked down and tugged at her overly long sleeves. "I know, but I like when the alphabet is in order. It's less confusing that way."

Robbie patted Cat's shoulder comfortingly, and her frown faded, giving way to a small smile.

"A it is!" Sikowitz announced. "Action!"

Tori hesitated as Jade nonchalantly looked to her to start the scene. Something about this felt very different from the first time they did this acting exercise together, and Jade's quiet confidence almost scared Tori more than her obvious seething. Jade stared at Tori unblinkingly and then quirked an eyebrow as a subtle challenge.

Not one to back down from a challenge, Tori took a deep breath and then began the scene.

"Angela, why are you in my apartment again?"

"Because I like to smell your sheets," Jade said calmly.

"Crazy people break into apartments, Angela."

"Damn, Tammy, what are you trying to say?"

Sikowitz cleared his throat at Jade's cursing, but she ignored him.

"Even my dumb pet blowfish knows what I'm trying to say, and _he_ doesn't speak _English!_ " Tori said, gesturing to an invisible fishbowl behind her.

Before Jade could even open her mouth with her next line, Beck warned in a low, scolding tone, "Jade…"

"Fine!" she yelled at him, annoyed that he was stopping her from taking Vega down a notch yet again. It's not like the princess was going to melt if she heard the F-bomb, right? If that was the case, Jade would have dropped it on her a long time ago.

"Stay in scene, Jade," Sikowitz instructed. "Tori, letter G!"

"Get out of my apartment right now!"

Jade pursed her lips. "How exactly are you going to make me leave?"

"I'm going to call the cops, that's how!"

"Juvenile threat—you wouldn't actually call the cops on me."

"Kinda weird that you're so confident about that!"

"Look, Tammy, I like sniffing your sheets, and you like me being here, so I don't see what the problem is," Jade said with a shrug.

"Maybe the problem is that you're a crazy skunk bag!"

"No, the problem is that you're in denial about enjoying my company."

"Oh, for crying out loud," Tori lamented, throwing her hands in the air. "Why don't you just buy your _own_ sheets so you can sniff them all you want at your _own_ apartment?"

"Please, that would be a waste of money when I can just come here any time I want."

"Quit breaking into my apartment!"

"Red herring!" Jade suddenly yelled, pointing at Tori's imaginary fishbowl.

Tori spun around, confused at what Jade was trying to do with the scene. Before Tori knew what was happening, Jade had run past her and out of the classroom, slamming the door behind her.

Tori gaped after Jade and then turned to the class. "What just happened?"

Sikowitz practically leapt from his seat, making an obnoxious buzzing noise. "Tori! You're out! Your line was supposed to start with an S, not a W."

"What do you mean?" Tori sputtered, swinging an arm in the direction of the door. "Jade ran out of the classroom!"

"No, _Jade_ didn't run out of the classroom; _Angela_ ran out of Tammy's apartment," Sikowitz said with a grin, nodding toward the door.

Tori turned back around, and Jade entered, acting like she was holding an armful of sheets, which she stuck her face in, inhaling deeply.

"Stole the sheets," Jade said with a smirk, taking the S that Tori had missed, "and stole the scene," she added, dropping the wad of invisible sheets and bowing as the class applauded her performance.

"Sikowitz, you've gotta be kidding me!" Tori complained.

"Sit down, Tori! No one likes a sore loser," Sikowitz said with disdain, sipping from his coconut.

"I'm not a loser!" Tori asserted, but she was already sulking and trudging back to her seat.

"Well, you're definitely not a winner," André pointed out. "Because you just lost," he added.

"Thanks for the explanation, André!" Tori snapped.

"Any time, girl," André replied casually.

Without even having to look at each other, Jade and André exchanged a fist bump, making Tori scowl. Even Sikowitz gave Jade a high five as she sauntered back to her seat beside Beck. Beck proudly put his arm around her, and she smiled to herself, once again victorious.

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A/N: A red herring is something that distracts from a relevant issue. It's also a type of fish. Blowfish are actually terrifying and poisonous, so you should probably steer clear of them.

Thanks for reading. Drop me a review if you want, I won't stop you.


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